Baseball only gives three strikes

I've never quite known when to call the game. Always keep giving it the old college try as, contrary to my daily persona, where the heart is concerned I've a want to be Pollyanna.

I've avoided blogging as I met someone. Someone who made me feel a way I haven't felt in a long time, a way I didn't think I'd ever feel before or since He Who Must Not be Named. And so, in my heart of hearts, with these strong emotional ties developing at light speed, I chose to take a break from revealing all. Mostly, as I thought I had met the one. And, I may very well have met a version of the one. But that one has no regard for my time. And it hurts.

Crash Davis has been on double secret probation due to some last minute disappointments. Tomorrow was to be the make or break night. The defining moment in his continued employment. Six weeks ago he told me he'd "be honored" if I accompanied him to a particular New Year's Eve fete. I agreed.

Tonight on the phone he indicated that he and his children would be staying another night in Vermont and he was no longer sure about tomorrow. He'd let me know in the morning. And I am crushed, crying and questioning my general worth and appeal. And yet, some twisted logic keeps me from cancelling. After all, I agreed. If he does cancel, I believe I will have the gumption to fire him, no matter the feelings he inspires within me. Just thankful that my friends are there, with alternate options to ice cream and tears to ring in the year.