This is the song that never ends

Inevitably it had to be done... One of these days I had to venture into the real world with an eharmony prospect and, Saturday eve, C became my original eharmony experience.

I was hesitant... didn't think this would be a successful night... nervous... angst filled... very anti this whole meeting in real life crap. Were the feelings valid? Or did I just need to get over myself and get out there?

Off I set for the Tap... madly texting the girls & questioning my judgement.

We should take a station break to discuss my outfit choice. I'm girly. Curvy even. And my big behind does not like pants. It prefers the minimization and flattery a skirt or dress brings. But the tap is a bar. And he clearly stated casual. And so my friends, I was torn. I was not feeling spiffy and date-like. But I'm a firm believer in faking enthusiasm until I'm actually excited. After much discussion, the brisk wind chill was the decider. Yummy little scoop neck cashmere BCBG dress was out, favorite Lucky's, black tank and grape J. Crew hoodie in cashmere - merino was in.

Into dating purgatory I ventured. And there was C. No truth in advertising. And he kept looking around. Clearly passing over me. And then he got it. And his expression was not happy. Maybe he's nervous I pep talk to myself, I so want to go. Begin awkward conversation. End awkward conversation (2) hours and (40) minutes later. Aack.

Here are the highlights: he's never lived outside of CT and is genuinely baffled as to what calamity has ensued that I don't live in the state of my birth. TV timeout: thank goodness I am not still in Nebraska! (1) Omaha is now gangsta nation and I'm fond of neither football nor tornadoes (reference our little event this summer). No friends from college that he still speaks to a mere (10) years later. Die hard Italian who has never heard of Federal Hill nor gone to Providence. In fact, Franklin Ave is someplace he has visited only this past month for the first time - Mozzicato's and the pastry was vetoed. His restaurant of choice for Italian? Macaroni Grill, with a keen interest in trying Joey Garlic's. Really? Italian cuisine is beautifully simple with many layers of flavors. We are within (60) minutes of some of the best in the nation and you throwdown with chain restaurant preprepared. Ouch. My inner chef goddess is saddened. Enough, this is not meant to bash C. He has some truly sweet qualities, such as volunteering with Make a Wish and his devotion to his nieces and nephews and the sincere efforts he put into the conversation. And yet... I am annoyed with his lecture on why I rent vs. own and the inappropriate interest in a relationship I clearly didn't want to share at this time.

So the night ended with a hug, which I am still perplexed about, why? And I think like me, Chuck he didn't find a love connection. Yet what do I do? It seems a little too rude to just hit the close button on the match. I highly doubt I or he would enjoy a second date, so... do I just send a nice note thanking him once again and stating I thought we were mutually not into each other and wish him luck? Why am I unable to make a quick kill? Hell, why did I let that endure for over two hours?